Low: Time for Megan Fox and the Drones to Go

(Photo: Apparently Megan Fox has Webster's covered for the "narcissism" entry in their new photo dictionary)

I’m not exactly a feminist, but I have limits. Women may not have as much official power as men do, but they’re guiding the ship almost all of the time in social situations. Don’t think so? You need to pay more attention. But one place they definitely don’t have any power is in the movies, a place that could use a few more women that don’t look and act like Megan Fox. Give me an endless supply of 5-Hour Energies, no distractions for a week and a stack of old Meryl Streep DVDs, and I’ll be a better actor than she is. Michael Bay, a genius at plugging in bad actors into bad movies, thought Fox was so bad that he had to replace her. And that’s part of the problem, as now we mainly get a bunch of nearly talentless hotties saying cheesy lines in front of a green screen all summer long - instead of real actresses with real acting skills. Mainly they're expected to stand there and look pretty. The problem is also apparently growing, as a recent study came out saying that men get twice as many speaking lines as women do in movies these days. Correspondingly, women are much more likely to be wearing nothing or next to nothing, which I'm not completely able to pass off as a bad thing at this point. Still, it’s a difficult situation for someone who wants to see more of talented but not exotic actresses like Michelle Williams and less airbrushed eye candy. Williams was hotter in indie “Blue Valentine” than if Paramount let Bay film Megan Fox shaved, naked and in a hot bath of Hershey’s chocolate syrup. Don’t underestimate Michael Bay’s prodigious ability to squeeze in a product placement. As long as we keep going to see dumbed down movies

that follow this trend, they’ll keep hiring the same pretty drones willing to stand there and fulfill the shallow fantasy – a job description that sounds strikingly like a porn star. If I’m paying up to $15 for a movie, it isn’t too much to ask that the main actors have more talent than the softcore porn I almost flipped past on HBO a couple days ago. The issue has also extended to directors, as five times as many movies are made by men as women. I’ve seen enough theatrical wet dreams by male mainstream directors, whose artistic aspirations often are to make 14-year-old boys say “Woa” during action scenes. And to make them shift their seating posture when the heroine predictably finds a good excuse to wear next to nothing. For a bunch of supposed extreme left-wingers, those in Hollywood are a little behind on this one. And don’t feel bad for the Megan Fox’s of the world….if she never got another movie offer the rest of her life, she’d still get paid millions of dollars to smile and promote lingerie and energy drinks. Or maybe she’ll just become a major player in the porn industry, but she’d have options is what I’m saying...